help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
