i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
