Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
