I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize