I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I feel like death gave me a hand job
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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