i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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