Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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