that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
