He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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