You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
