So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
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he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
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You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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