Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
