Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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