dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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