they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
