we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
