I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you will always have a special place in my vag
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
