Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
