I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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