Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
