K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
