bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i think i just naturally attract stoners
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
