I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
