im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
