I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
