If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Randomize
