if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
im holly from the hills drunk
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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