we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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