When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
