I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
