We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
