drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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