I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
