i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
