I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
