frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
