i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
