Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
