I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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