I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
