Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
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well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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