uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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