If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
