I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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