Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
