I am in a vortex of obligation.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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