this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
