Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
