FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
