Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
