he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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