remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
