um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
