You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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