These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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