So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Come see our sink grown plant.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize