He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
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Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
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Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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