Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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