all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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