today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize