I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize