ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
you never un-have a 4some
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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