I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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