I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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