WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
