as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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