pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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