All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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