she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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