tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My liver just had a heart attack.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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