Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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